Last spring we had a neurologist appointment with our son. I had never asked about the future for him I try to do the here and now, but as he gets older I know we have to start the future process. So I asked the doctor the dreaded questions, the answers I got threw me, he will probably never live a independent life, he has a cognitive delay. The tears rolled down my face, deep down I knew this but hopeful thinking. All I could think is he won't go to collage, get married, have children, live as a independent man. I was a mess for days, everyone I talked to said 'oh what do doctors know?' (That doesn't help by the way, listening helps.) But the doctors do know and they prepare you for the worst and hope for more. I got passed it and everyday focus on what's best for him, but in the back of my head I was thinking maybe the doctors are wrong, lots of people told me he will do more. As the days go on I see his sister who is 4.5 years younger starting to pass him, in reading, writing, maturity. I have to say parents need to morn these losses it is truly a loss. I wouldn't change him for the world but it is a loss.
Yesterday I had a meeting with his school, I had to know if they saw him progressing or not, I know that this year is the make or break he's in Gr 7 if he isn't progressing then it is what it is. The reality is .................................................................................................................................................................They dont see much progress, he is where he may stay.
BUT he reads, writes, understands and communicates. Not at his age level but he does it and isn't that something? He is in the best school we could have him in and he will finish elementary and head to high school. He will stay in his school till he's 21, he won't be in learning GR 12 math but learning all the life skills he can, to be the best independent man HE can be.
It's hard on mom, dad and even little sister, but he doesn't know any different. You can't lose what you don't have. And so we will get through this bump too and move on. At least I know where the future is going and where we need to head. I don't write this for a pity party, this is the open, honest truth of our lives and as much as it sometimes hurts we love him with all our hearts and that will never change!! He is our Angel Boy!!
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