Hills and Valleys

I often feel bad for taking time for myself or buying something for myself as I'm sure many of you do to.  Why is this?  I mean I work, I pay bills but if I want new shoes, there always seem to be more important things, like kids shoes or summer is coming and they will need new summer clothes. The thing is my kids dressers are full of clothes and I wear the same things. I think that's part of being a mom.

However the last little while I have put myself first. I am gluten free and they all are alright with that, I walk everyday and they are alright with that, I signed up to be a beachbody coach and with a bit of financial planning (no more eating out) they are alright with that so why do I feel so guilty??

Guilt must be the top feeling in a moms life, who knows why but we seem to all have it, men on the other hand dont seem to have it as much, they deserve things lol.  Which I truly wish I could be the same.

I'm enjoying putting myself at the top and the guilt is going away, because truly I'm doing it to help us all live a happy healthy life and I'm showing the kids that hard work pays off.  I'm 30 pounds lighter, not only in weight but I feel lighter in my worries and thoughts. I'm starting to get some confidence and when someone says I look good I say thank you, I feel good instead of ......................no I dont or whatever.

I eat well workout with 21dayfix everyday and walk most, who is the person I have become?  A better mommy, a better wife and a better friend. And you know what I'm truly happy!!  Im happy with myself for the first time in many years and its nothing to do with my children, I have totally done this for myself.  I still have a hill to climb but I'm doing it and look forward to the next valley.

beachbodycoach.com/jangatti check out my journey

Thankful

Being a parent of a special needs child, is not always an easy life, but I'm thankful everyday to have him.
Being a wife isn't always an easy life, but I'm always thankful to have a best friend.
Being a momma isn't always easy but I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm thankful to have such amazing kids.

Life isn't always easy, but we seem to get through it even at the worse times. I talk a lot about what's going on here and maybe come off as a Debbie Downer, or maybe you feel sorry for us, but please dont.

Our children are the greatest gift god could of ever given us. Our son is our angel.  He told me once when I asked him how I got so lucky to have him that he picked me from the clouds, he was in the clouds and saw me and wanted me to be his Mommy.  I truly believe I was given this amazing child for a reason.  Maybe to make people aware of disabilities, maybe to challenge me, but truly to make me a better person.

I often wonder if he was perfectly fine, if my husband and I would still be married?? He has made us both stronger, and closer because we are the only two who really "GET IT" and understand it. Family doesn't totally get it, friends dont either, but the two of us understand what we both go through all the ups and downs and that we can count on each other

So even on the worse of days I'm thankful to have the litttle family I have, and you know what, in the end, the day will end and a new one starts. We can do a lot if we take the time to be thankful, even if its a tiny little thing be thankful for what you have and hold on to that and you'll move to the next day and may be thankful for more.

Love and Thankfulness

Recipe Wednesday-Nana's Mac n Cheese

Nana's Mac n Cheese

Truly a family favourite. It was when I was a child and now my children also love my moms mac n cheese. Hope Nana doesn't mind I'm using her recipes, but one everyone should try. 

3 Tbsp butter

3 tbsp flour

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1 tsp dry mustard powder 

3 cups milk

3 cups cheddar cheese

2 cups dry macaroni

In saucepan melt butter, add flour, salt, pepper.

                    Slowly mix in milk.  When thickened remove from heat and add cheese.

Cook macaroni as per box instructions drain and add to cheese sauce.

                          Transfer to casserole dish and bake at 350 for 30 mins.

Stuffed Squash

Stuffed Squash

Our daughter and I attend cooking classes together, she is only 8 but loves to cook and wants to be a chef when she grows up (for now).  Here is a recipe that we learned at cooking school and we love and make all the time.  We have changed it a little to what we like.

1 medium spaghetti squash

1 Tbsp EV olive oil

1/3 cup balsamic salad dressing

1 cup baby spinach

1 onion, diced

1 garlic clove, minced

1 carrot, diced

1/2 red pepper, diced

Salt and pepper to taste

3/4 cup grated mozzarella

1/4 cup grated Parmesan

Preheat oven to 400F.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Slice your squash in half lengthwise and scoop out the seeds. rub a little olive oil on each squash, place on prepared baking sheet face down, and roast for 30-40 mins, or until tender and easily pierced with a fork, set aside to cool. 

In small pan, saunte the onion, garlic, carrot and pepper in a little olive oil, until softened. Add the spinach, and when wilted toss the mixtures in the dressing and combine well. Season if necessary. 

Combine the cheeses and sprinkle a little of the cheese in each of the squash and stuff each with veg mixture. Top with remaining cheese. Tent the baking sheet with aluminum foil. Bake for 20-30 mins or until warmed through

Serve and Enjoy

You can also add cooked chicken breast to stuffing mix, for a whole meal in one.

Taking care of Mom

The end of last year I realized how important it is for me to take care of myself, my husband wasn't feeling well for months and they discovered that he had a blockage in a artery of his heart. In November he had to have 3 stents in the artery and they told us it was 99% blocked and we are lucky he didn't have a heart attack or worse.  He's only 42 so such a scary thing for us to go through.  Someone was truly watching over him.

During the months before, I really wasn't feeling well either. So I stared seeing a naturopathic doctor. She helped me realize that food was my problem. I have always been overweight and complained about it but really really like food, its truly and addiction. I also use it to help me get through tough times, I eat my blues away. Bad idea all around, then I get mad at myself for eating it and it's a vicious circle.

In September I started a life change, gluten free, less sugar and exercise. I have trouble with the me time but I'm working on it. I have tried weight watchers a number of times and have looked into all different diets, but you know what I have done this on my own. And have lost 25 pounds.  Over the winter and Christmas I have had a hard time staying away from junk and sugar , it was so yucky outside and I didn't feel like getting out. But as the days get longer I have wanted to push myself, so I haven't lost anything in 3 months but haven't gained any either.

Now I'm on a mission to go full force and get another 15-20 lbs off before summer. Not to look better (although I do like the compliments) but to feel better and be a healthy mom.

You see I have a little different situation. Both my children aren't going to go off to collage, get a career have a family and take care of me. Our son I will have to take care of for the rest of my life so I have to try to make it a long healthy life so I can do that.

My husband is better but is a diabetic as well. I'm afraid that I will be taking care of him too someday, just cause he has so much family history of heart disease and diabetes that he can try to be a healthy him too, but he has things stacked against him and I have none stacked against me except taking care of my health.

I have lost 25 lbs of bread and butter, lets see if I can lose 20 more of sugar and chocolate.
I cant take care of everyone else, until I take care of myself first........

My before and after so far. Oct 2015 top/ March 2017 bw

Recipe Wednesday-Salmon Loaf

Salmon Loaf

A family favourite.  Easy, quick and delicious. 

2 cans (213g) salmon

1 sleeve crackers (saltines)

3/4 cup milk

2 beaten eggs

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp salt

Mix all together and place in loaf pan

Bake at 350 for 1 hr

Serve hot Enjoy. 

Fixable Problems

The Winter Blues have done a number on me this year. I have wanted to stay in and be a hermit. Most of all though I have kind of been having a pity party for myself. I can usually get that way once and awhile but only for a day or two and then life goes on, but this time its been a hard hole to climb out of.  All those little things seem to have built up so much that they all seem to hit me at once.  Talking to people as I do with my job, I dont feel I'm the only one who feels this way.  You know what has gotten me so upset though, are those people who complain so much about their situation, but do nothing about it and those situations are usually very fixable.

My New Years resolution was to not worry about others and only live for the 4 people under my roof.  So I have tried to keep that up, not an easy task. People dont like it when you change and do for yourself. But as I have tried to step back I realize, those people probably mean more to me then me to them.  I dont see then texting me or stopping by, I was always doing the running or listening.

We in this house have a few non fixable issues, I have had a hard time with thinking of the future, but know I need to get things started to make the future as good as possible. As I was driving the other day, I felt I had to talk to someone, I pulled over and called the one person who would listen to me, not fix things or sweep them under the carpet, but truly listen to me while I cried and screamed, that one person who "gets it" the person that I dont always go to because I dont want to burden them with more worries, and specially not to worry about me the strong, mothering, take care of everyone person I am.  But that one person tis truly my best friend......................my husband.

We have had lots of bumps in the road over the last 22 years, but realizing this last year that I could of lost him forever has made me a better wife, and I seem to be able to confide in him more then ever.  And when we have a fixable problem we seem to work together to fix it. The other issues,  as he always tells me will work out in the end. Maybe just maybe me walking away from others problems have made he walk back to him and our family, after all on my headstone someday it wont say,

Janelle Gatti
Helps others and takes care of everyone.

It will say................................

Janelle Gatti
Wife and Mother.

Remember to look real hard at your problems and see if they are fixable.........................