Self First

It's not easy for me to post these pics. It took a lot of self care before being ready to show where I was, and where I'm going.


Its been awhile since I have posted on the blog. Things have been a bit crazy. We now have another diagnosis with our son which I'll talk about in another post. However the best thing is I've been focusing on me. For once I have put myself first haha who am I kidding, no mom totally puts them self first, but the first time in my life, I'm taking care of myself properly. 

With diet and exercise. A total life change not just for me but for this family and the people around me too. I'm happier, more positive and have so much more energy. I think I'm a better mom and wife. I no longer struggle to keep up. 

Well doing this I started working out. Doing on demand home workouts and I stick with it. I also have become a coach and have started helping others, I have a long way to go but it's fun and I have to be accountable.  There is so much support through my group. 

I realized at some point if I don't take care of me how am I ever going to be able to take care of the most important people in my life. I have always been the big one of my family, have always struggled with my weight. I am addicted to food and know how those people on My 600 Pound Life get the way they are, by eating and filling a void with food. I got up to 222lbs before I realized what I was doing to myself. I have never felt good enough to take care of me, never felt I was worth it, blaming my self for the things that were going wrong, always putting everyone before myself. 

The funny thing is by doing this, I have changed, and unfortunately some people don't like the new me. I can't help how they feel I can only be true to myself, and if that means losing some friends while maybe they weren't my friends in the first place. 

So I'm down 40 lbs, I'm stronger, happier and showing my kiddies you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Hopefully I can help and inspire more people to be the best they can be too..

Sausage Mushroom Spaghetti Sauce

Sausage Mushroom Sauce

1 lbs ground mild Italian sausage

1/2 cup diced onion

2 garlic cloves

1/2 cup diced carrot

1/2 cup diced celery 

1 cup diced button mushrooms

1 can diced tomatoes 

1 can of tomato sauce

1 tsp salt

1 tsp basil

2 bay leaves

1 tsp oregano 

1/2 cup red wine

1 Tbsp tomato paste
1 cup parm cheese

In large sauce pan brown ground sausage, drain fat then add onion, garlic,carrots,celery and mushrooms. Sauté veggies with meat until soft. Add red wine and tomato paste until wine reduces. Add salt and spices to your taste. Add tomatoes and tomato sauce. Cook sauce on low for at least an hour but I like it to sit on stove most of the day. Last 5 mins put half of parm cheese in and stir, use rest of cheese on top of pasta You could also brown meat and veg then throw it in crock pot. Boil your favourite pasta and add to sauce.

 Enjoy. 

The Binder

The Binder,

 The binder goes to all appointments with our son, its the binder of so much information. Medical , school, specialist information.  From birth to now. Sometimes its hard to go back to those first years of the unknown.  This week we are in the process of a physchoeducational assessment to see were he is at, what stage he is mentally. This helps with the transition for Gr 9 next year and the placement.

We know he has a cognitive  delay but this will give us a better understanding. This isn't the first time at age 6 we had one done so we could hold him back for another year of SK he wasn't ready to go on the Gr 1 at that time. It also helps get the resources needed easier for a successful schooling. But now that he's older and doesn't see to be progressing any longer its important to get this done to prepare him for the future.

We know there will be one more done before he leaves high school to move on to his adult future and have that transition go smoothly as well. People dont realize how much special needs parents have to fight, stand up and go through to get the services and help our children need. It's not something you can't skip out on. It's a fight everyday to be their voice to get what they need.


As he gets older I thought things would get easier but I feel like they are harder, I often wonder if its because I'm older or is it because I have done this fight for 14 years and many many more to go. I guess some of it is because you always hope for the best in the future, maybe he will catch up maybe he will be fine but in the end its what they tell you at the beginning. I often say that I'm exhausted, but I dont mean physically but mentally and somedays I cant mentally take much BS from others. I always try to turn everything into a positive spin. Someone else is dealing with way more then us and I'm so glad to be his mom. And you know what life would be pretty boring without hills and valleys.

So off we go to our next appointment carrying his binder full of facts about him, I think maybe its time for a bigger binder or maybe a bag to carry it in, as we will have much more to put in there from this stage to the rest of his life. Just think when I'm gone someone else will have all the information they need to help him just from the info in THE BINDER how many can say that??

Pumpkin Pancakes

Made these for Halloween breakfast they were a hit with the big and little people n the house, hope you enjoy them too.

2 cups flour

2 tsp baking powder

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp cinnamon

3/4 tsp ginger

1/4 tsp nutmeg

1/4 tsp cloves

1/4 cup brown sugar

1 cup pumpkin purée

1 1/2 cups buttermilk

3 Tbsp butter melted

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla

In large bowl whisk dry ingredients together. In a smaller bowl whisk together the rest of ingredients. Pour wet into dry and whisk till it comes together. Pour 1/4 cup of mixture on hot pre butter griddle. Cook till golden brow on both sides. Enjoy. Note I did add a few chocolate chips in batter as well for Halloween sake. 

Recipe Wednesday Turkey Taco Mac

Turkey Taco Mac

I have found that some nights I need a quick easy supper, my kids love tacos but I felt like I needed to change it up a bit. 

1lb ground turkey

1 cup salsa

1 pinch black pepper

1/2 tsp salt

3 1/2 Tbsp taco seasoning( i make my own)

1 1/2 cup Mexican style cheese

2 cups water

8oz of pasta (i use gluten free)

Tomatoes, parsley, cheese to garnish

Preheat a large skillet over med heat.  Add ground turkey and season with salt and pepper.  Cook, until cooked thoroughly.  Stir taco seasoning into turkey, then stir in water, salsa and pasta.  Bring mixture to a boil. Stir cover and reduce heat to simmer. Cook for about 15 mins until pasta is tender. Turn off heat and stir in cheese. Add tomatoes, cheese and parsley to garnish top.  Serve with sour cream and a garden salad. Yum. 

Taco seasoning 

1/2 Tbsp chili powder

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/4 tsp oregano

1/2 tsp paprika

1 1/2 tsp cumin

1 tsp black pepper

Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl this recipe is equivalent to 1 package of store bought taco seasoning. I usually make it x4 and put it in container, so i always have it on hand. 

Hope you enjoy both recipes. 

recipe Wednesday Energy Balls.

Energy Balls

Even though I have lost 35lbs I still crave junk and chocolate, these help me through my cravings

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/3 cup honey

1/2 unsweetened coconut

1/2 cup ground flaxseed

1 Tbsp chia seeds

1 cup oatmeal

1/2 cup chocolate chips or 1/2 cup dried cranberries 

Mix all together, roll into 1 inch balls I use a 1" icecream scoop, put in freezer to set 30 mins then into plastic bag, I store mine in freezer for a nice cold treat, you could also store in fridge. 

Enjoy 

Holes in the system

As we try to prepare for our sons future, we are realizing there are huge holes in the system.  So a couple of months ago I had a meeting with one of our supports, I thought I might as well ask about what happens when he turns 18??  Should be easy transition right?? Well think again.............

When he is 17.5 years old I have to apply him for disability so that he gets the funding he needs but also at that age he will start changing all his doctors to adult doctors, which seems wrong that he has had the same doctors since birth but that changes at 18?? And to top it off there are waiting lists so that should be interesting.  Those things we will deal with the best we can, but one area that I was shocked with and later have learnt so many others are shocked with is the services we will have to wait for.....................................................................................

Housing 8-12 year wait list
Respite stops and there's a wait list but we can pay our respite with his disability money??????
Services wait list
Day Programs not where we live so I will be transporting him

Ok so I have a huge problem with this.  He will go to school till he's 21 where he will learn as many life skills as possible for him to be independent as he can be, yet it could take up to age 30 before he can get housing??

Don't get me wrong, we would gladly take care of him at home for the rest of our lives, but we know that wont be what he needs, our small community doesn't have programs for him or transit which is one of the many life skills he learns at school.  So when he turns of age do we pack up our whole lives and move to a city centre where he can still have access to programs ect? Do we move our daughter who will be on her last years of high school so her brother gets what he needs??  Do we uproot everyone now? The only place I have help that I need from family and where my business is??

What about the people who care for their children till they no longer cant then do they have to wait 8-12 years??  This makes no sense to me. Why isn't there the housing and supports for people like my son, who will need assisted living? What about the people that need more help, cant help themselves at all??

I feel he may lose those important life skills that he will work so hard on in his high school career, we know he has a cognitive delay, we know he is no longer progressing in his learning, so why isn't there more help for families like ours and how do we try to get more?? Government?? Lol.

I have total anxiety over it, his whole life we have tried to make him the most independent person he can be, we make things and do things to help with that, a wonderful school so he can do the best he can do, even though its 35mins away from home, early morning and late afternoons home.  But we do all that so he can thrive and at 21 he's on his own with no supports, schools done, home with mom and dad and then what??????????????????????????????????????????????? Wait till he makes it to the top of the list, I guess that's the only option we have.

There are big giant holes in our system for him, for others, for families, and where do we start to fix it????